The Truth Sets You Free

Society has two views of homosexuality. The traditional view holds that homosexuality is an aberration, the orientation is a disorder, and the behavior is pathological. The opposing view is that homosexuality is a normal variant in the human condition that is determined before birth and that homosexual behavior is natural for those so oriented.

The gay community has been tremendously successful in gaining acceptance for the second view. This view, however, rests on a number of questionable premises, which if false, lead us back to the traditional view. In the following article we will continue to examine the premises put forth by those accepting homosexuality as “normal.”

Homosexuality is simply a normal variation in the human condition. It occurs in every culture, in every age, and although a majority are heterosexual, just as some people are left handed, a minority is homosexual in their orientation.

Is this assertion true, or is homosexuality a disorder, a sign that something has gone wrong in an individual’s development? Is homosexuality something that is inevitable for a certain percentage of the world’s population, and therefore should simply be accepted, or is it a distortion or dysfunction that should be resisted, and if possible, cured?

As with the question regarding homosexuality being prenatally determined, the burden of proof should be with those who say it is normal and natural. I say this because the only hard evidence that we have-the biological evidence-clearly indicates that it is a disorder, in that homosexuality represents a tendency to want to use body parts for some purpose other than that for which they were designed. The penis and vagina are certainly constructed for male-female intercourse. Their complimentary shapes, the location of highly sensitive nerve endings show, without a doubt, the Divine intent.

Regardless of where you stand on the pleasure-relational aspects of sexuality, man and woman’s sexuality is inextricably associated with reproduction, and two men or two women cannot reproduce. Therefore, homosexuality is a condition that, in a fundamental way, is contrary to nature. Biologically, it is simply not natural or normal.

The advocates of acceptance of homosexuality, however, have put forth a great effort to convince the world that homosexuality is in fact both natural and normal, that it is simply different, and that only because it is the orientation of a minority, do we classify it as a disorder or perversion. They have been quite successful in this effort.

When we talk about what is normal, we are talking about what is in accordance with the norm; what is common. When we talk about what is natural, we are talking about what is in accordance with nature. Most arguments favoring homosexuality as normal and natural, therefore, are aimed at creating an impression that homosexuality is extremely widespread, that it occurs everywhere in nature. Furthermore, human sexuality is viewed as an extremely fluid thing in which all sorts of variations are just going to happen.

If you listen to gay advocacy groups, over and over again, you will hear these arguments used. There isn’t space here to fully refute this whole approach, but I ask you to consider what is really being said, and what evidence is really being offered. We will look at two of the most common statements made by advocacy groups.

1. Ten percent of the world is gay.

I have heard this expressed with tremendous certainty, as when one gay activist said, “Don’t forget, one child in every ten born in the world, in all countries, in all ages is a homosexual.” The 10 percent statistic has been used so much that it is often simply assumed to be true in newspaper and magazine articles and by much of the public.

Where did the 10 percent figure come from? As far as we can tell it is a misinterpretation of the first Kinsey Report (Sexual Behavior in the Human Male [1]) in which it was stated that “10% of the males are more or less exclusively homosexual for at least three years between the ages of 16 and 55.” There are several problems here. Apart from the many legitimate concerns about Kinsey’s statistical methods and the fact that the study covered only U.S. males, Kinsey, on the same page states that, “4% of the white males are exclusively homosexual throughout their lives after adolescence.”

Those who first quoted the 10% figure from Kinsey were obviously consciously trying to mislead. Others later have used the figures innocently. In fact, we don’t know what percentage of ours or any other culture is homosexually oriented. Before Kinsey, the estimates, coming primarily out of England, Germany and the U.S. were between 2 and 5%. Later, more objective estimates in the United States project a maximum incidence of 5% among males and less among females.

The bottom line, however, is that whether it is 5% or 10% does not matter. Figures tend to be exaggerated by many homophiles because they believe that in numbers there is legitimacy. Not so. A significant number of people are criminally inclined, but that does not mean that they are not somehow distorted in their orientation.

2. Homosexuality occurs in all cultures and has been accepted in many.

This usually is accompanied by the statement or implication that Judeo-Christian culture just happens to be hard on homosexuals. Obviously, we can’t review culture by culture here, but let me suggest that you look carefully at the examples given of homosexuality in other cultures. Invariably, they involve either pederasty (sex by men with boys) or, in rare instances, a limited period of approved homosexual behavior during adolescence.

Certainly, homosexual behavior could have occurred in all cultures to varying degrees, but that says nothing about it being normal or natural. In fact, most cultures, including the Greek, up until its final years, classified homosexuality as a crime deserving the severest of penalties.

There is evidence that homosexual behavior occurs far less frequently in some cultures than it does in the West. Obviously, differing cultures would evidence differing degrees of secrecy regarding sexual behavior and there have been no widely-accepted surveys of homosexuality in non-Western countries, so hard evidence is almost impossible to come by. Anecdotal evidence is available however.

Theologian and psychiatrist Ruth Tiffany Barnhouse quotes an incident in which an American mentioned homosexuality to a group of doctors at the Canton Hospital in the People’s Republic of China, and only one member of the medical staff understood what homosexuality was. [2] I asked two missionaries to Africa about homosexuality on that continent, and both related that they had been told that it was unknown until the Westerners arrived. Anecdotes don’t provide certainty, but in the absence of hard numbers, ask people from Asia and Africa this yourself.

1. Alfred C. Kinsey, Wardell B. Pomeroy and Clyde E. Martin, Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders Company, 1948), p.651.

2. Ruth Tiffany Barnhouse, Homosexuality: a Symbolic Confusion, (New York: The Seabury Press, 1979) p.157.

Medinger, A. (2004). Homosexuality and the Truth: is It Natural and Normal?, from http://www.pureintimacy.org/gr/homosexuality/a0000058.cfm

There is often a high degree of narcissism in male homosexuality. The process of seeking to change and grow in manhood requires a self-focus that can actually contribute to narcissism. There is, however, a way to counter this and even become less self-focused as the Lord is healing us.

A man is his most wholesome and appealing when he is outer-directed, when he has little consciousness of himself. His face is towards the world, towards others, hopefully towards God. The world is a joyous challenge, something to be both overcome and delighted in. His lack of self-consciousness draws people to him.

Those of us who sense a deficit in our manhood, by our very focus on our shortcomings, are turned inward. Excessively conscious of our appearance, how we are coming across to others, how we compare with other men. In our striving to be men, we manifest an inner directedness that is the antithesis of healthy manhood.

In this respect, we are not unlike adolescent boys trying to prove their manhood. But in the adolescent, such a focus is a normal step in development, so expected that it can be seen as desirable, even endearing.

Sadly, many men who are not from a homosexual background, seem never to emerge from this stage. Constantly needing to prove their manhood (to themselves as well as others) they pursue any outward manifestation that will show that they are men: body building, womanizing, excessively aggressive behavior. Their focus is decidedly on themselves. They are, in a word, narcissistic.

A primary way that the homosexual man differs from the narcissistic heterosexual is that the homosexual has at some level given up attaining his own manhood; he seeks to draw it from others. The narcissistic heterosexual never gives up. He is determined to prove his manhood. But like the homosexual, he is doomed to failure. The fact that he is focused on himself, that he gives such great importance to outward appearances, dooms him to perpetual adolescence.

How are those of us who have decided to come out of homosexuality, and are determined to become men in the truest sense of the word, to avoid this narcissistic trap? Homosexual men are often narcissistic enough to start with. The stereotypical fastidiousness of the male homosexual – his grooming, his clothes – often give him away. One man in our ministry tells how a friend shared with him, “Oh, I always knew you were gay. I could tell by your furniture.”

How can we examine and measure ourselves – necessary steps if we really want to change – without perpetuating, or even intensifying, our self-absorption?

It is difficult, but it is possible.

I discovered a key answer to this problem in the statement of a newcomer to our ministry. He said, “Manhood is something we give away.”

We grow as men when we see our manhood as something we desire for the sake of others. When we desire manhood so that we can protect and defend, help and serve, provide safety and security for others, we will grow into men. And it is the practice of helping, protecting, and serving that develops our manhood.

An active member of one of our sister ministries is a woman with quite severe cerebral palsy. When I visited the ministry, I observed the men regularly lifting her in and out of cars, from a wheelchair to a sofa and back. Their manhood was wonderfully visible in this act of helping and serving.

In the book, And The Band Played On, although gay author Randy Shilts may not have recognized what he was describing, there is a beautiful illustration of this. A homosexual man, very mild and passive in his nature, came down with AIDS. The person who took care of him in his final months was a bold aggressive lesbian woman. The two were close friends; in fact you soon could see that they genuinely loved each other. As the man became increasingly sick, his tough lesbian friend became more and more tender and fragile. Her strength seemed to fade away as her love for the dying man cut deeper and deeper into her heart. On his part, the more vulnerable she became, the stronger he became in his desire to protect her. Wanting to shelter her fragile heart, he grew stronger and stronger. What Randy Shilts was describing was the forming of a man (and a woman).

At the Exodus Conferences until a few years ago, on Fridays before the closing banquet, we had “makeovers” in which hairdressers (mostly men) did the hair and make-up for women for many of whom such expressions of femininity had been very threatening. Watching these men gently and sensitively serving these women, I always knew I was witnessing a beautiful display of manly strength.

Jesus was the ultimate man. He never had to prove it, but how clearly He demonstrated it. Gently talking with the woman at the well, protecting the life of the woman caught in adultery, kindly humoring His mother when she insisted He do something about the wine having run out at the wedding in Cana, taking the little children up into his arms, His manhood shines forth. Washing the feet of His disciples, He provides those men He has chosen to follow Him an example of manly strength put under control for the purpose of serving others.

If I were a creator of advertising, there is one picture I would use every chance I could because it is an image that will draw the attention of almost everyone, man, woman or child. It is a picture of a young man walking down a path holding the hand of a little toddler, a little two- or three-year-old boy or girl. It symbolizes manly strength under submission for the purpose of guiding and protecting someone who is so much smaller and weaker. It is almost irresistible. It is an expression of God’s purpose for manhood, that it be in service to others.

It would be wonderful if we could just “be” men, but for many of us our backgrounds have made that almost impossible. Perhaps our culture has made it impossible for any men to be men unconsciously. But, there is a way in which this consciousness does not have to turn to narcissism. It is that we live according to the principle that our manhood is something we give away, something God created in us that we might use to bless others.

Medinger, A. (2004) Manhood Without Narcissism., from http://www.pureintimacy.org/gr/homosexuality/a0000062.cfm